Isa 40:11b “and [He] shall gently lead those that are with young.”
God, I’m so tired! I don’t know why!
I
What is wrong with my brain? Why can’t I find the joy I know you have?
Shall
I feel like I’m spiraling! I feel like a terrible mom!
Gently
I have so many tears!
Lead
Please make the children sleep! I can’t do another night with so little sleep!
Those
I’m begging You for help! I literally am unable to do this right now!
That
You promised to lead those with young gently. I’m not feeling the gentleness right now! I need more gentleness!
Are
You’re here. I sense Your presence beside me. I want You. I crave You.
With
Please give me Your peace. Please comfort my soul.
Young.
Please just hold me while I cry. Please make it all better and help me to remember that You do care.Thank you.
Gently: to lead, give rest, lead with care, guide to a watering place or station, cause to rest, bring to a station or place of rest, guide, refresh (Strong’s Concordance)
Rest sometimes looks different as a mama in the thick of raising little ones. And yet in the darkest of nights, when I’m up again for the tenth time and I’m exhausted and begging God to please somehow make it better, I feel Him come beside me, lift my weary arms, and strengthen me to keep going and give comfort to the children who call me mom, the children who call for me in the middle of the night like I call for God. And I am so thankful for His promise to give us rest and refreshment in the middle of the intensity.
Today, I was putting away laundry. Aaron was practicing reading with our 4 year old, and our 1 year old was taking a nap. Our 2, almost 3 year old, was hanging out with me in our room. She was getting a little bored and happened to notice that there was dust on the top of our headboard, so I told her that if she wanted to, she could clean it with a rag.
She immediately ran out to the kitchen, grabbed a rag, got it wet, and came back. She proceeded to thoroughly clean all the dust and cobwebs off of our headboard. Then she noticed that the fan in our room was dirty too. I took the front cover off and handed it to her. She scrubbed it clean. Then she scrubbed the blades.
After she had those two pieces clean, she saw that there was dirt on the back piece, but she couldn’t figure out how to get the dirt behind the blades. She asked me for help. I ended up taking the fan completely apart, and it is now scrubbed clean and white again! I was actually quite impressed at her cleaning abilities.
Later, I asked the girls to clean up the living room. They quickly worked together, and soon, both the living room and their bedroom/toy room were all cleaned up with very minimal supervision for me. Things were even put away correctly.
I had a sudden realization that I already have quite capable household assistants, and they haven’t even reached 5 years old! They can clean up the floor and vacuum. They can wash and dry loads of laundry. They can put away their clothes and hang up their jackets. They help bring in groceries and watch their little brother while playing outside. They can even warm up leftovers for their lunches! And I find myself wondering how and when they became so capable!
Our 2 year old will frequently ask me what she can clean and will go around scrubbing her little brother’s marks off the walls. Our 4 year old will notice when there are items that need to be taken to the recycle bin and will take them out without prompting. Even our 1 year old loves to help by pushing kitchen chairs back to their places and putting sippy cups and bibs away in the proper drawer.
They all love to be helpful and be included in whatever I’m doing. And I love that they have finally reached the age where they can do things on their own without constant strict supervision from me.
Toddlers and preschoolers may just be my favorite ages yet. 😍 I love the way they help, the way they play together, and the hilarious and the deep conversations we have.
I think sometimes there is a tendency to underestimate young children, but from my experience, they are smarter, more empathetic, and more helpful than we often think is possible. I find that when I take a minute to stop and make sure they know how to do something, they are often quite pleased to show me what they are capable of.
I so look forward to seeing them continue to grow and mature and take more initiative. We have three amazing little humans in our household, and I just wanted to share that with everyone. 😉
These are the moments that I want to remember. The memories I want to cherish on the days when things are not going as well as I wish they would. I want to remember that these children are the future, and they are good, helpful, and loving already. ❤️
It’s Wednesday afternoon. That means it’s time to load up our three children and the little boy I babysit into their carseats and head off to church for an hour.
Every Wednesday afternoon from 2 to 3, you will find me and four children in the prayer room at our church. Why? Because we are taking what is called a “prayer watch.” We spend one hour playing worship music and spending time in the presence of God.
Sometimes we dance or spin in circles with the ribbon flags. Sometimes, the children “play” the keyboard and sing along with the songs. Sometimes, the girls draw pictures while I supervise the two one year old boys’ explorations of all the sound equipment. Every once in a while, I get to do about 2 minutes of sitting in quiet conversation with God. Most of the time, tho, I am worshipping Him as I chase down one toddler and settle a dispute over the crayons with another one.
Why do I do this? Why do I prioritize taking four children ages 4, 2, 1, and 1 to church to worship for one hour? Because it is important to me to cultivate a heart of worship in each of our children. I want them to have conversations with God as easily as they have them with me. I want to build their faith that their prayers make a difference. I want to set an example of prioritizing time in God’s presence, no matter what else is going on in our lives. I want them to see that no matter how seemingly inconvenient it might be to do this every Wednesday afternoon, it is still important enough to me that we do it. I want prayer and worship, singing and dancing, and listening to hear what God is saying to be a normal part of our children’s lives.
The other week, we found our 4 year old’s little purse that she has been missing for months! Her immediate response was to say, “Thank you. God! I love you!” and then she drew a picture for Him to show her gratitude.
Once the song “Make Room” by Casting Crowns was playing. One of the lines in the song says, “Is there room in your heart for God to write His story?” Our daughter turned to me and said, “Mom, I can see God writing His story.” She went on to list ways she sees God writing His story in her life.
I imagine that God smiles when He sees the children’s pure worship. It doesn’t bother His ears when the notes they play aren’t perfectly in tune with the song. He delights in the colors that they choose for their pictures. I can almost hear Him chuckle when He sees their portraits of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. He isn’t bothered that their worship sometimes looks like running in circles and giggling as they chase each other around the room. Their freedom in His presence is a delight. Their confident faith and sweet sensitivity to His voice is amazing.
Our children have so much delight in taking part in prayer watch that they ask if it’s time to go yet whenever they know it’s Wednesday.
It’s only one hour a week. Sometimes, it can seem like maybe I did nothing except try to calm the waves that are toddlerhood, and I wonder if God really cares about this one mother and the four tiny humans she brings. I sometimes feel guilty that my prayer watch is not as deeply reverent as some of the others that also hold prayer watches. I don’t get grand revelations or big breakthroughs, but still I go. And I do enjoy it.
No matter what chaos we bring into the room. No matter how frustrated I was trying to get everyone fed, changed, dressed, out the door, and loaded up to leave on time. No matter what. I walk into that room, crank the worship up, and I feel peace. I know that in His presence, there is rest. And it restores and energizes me. And by the time we leave, everyone is in a good mood and relaxed. That’s what the presence of God brings.
We’ve been having a rough couple of weeks with our one child breaking her leg and having to be non-weight-bearing and another child battling a virus that makes her cough violently at random intervals. The coughing leads to less sleep for me as she wakes up multiple times a night and sometimes wakes up the other child in the room from her coughing and crying. And then today, Aaron got a surprise out of town work trip on the truck, so he’s gone till Saturday. And still there is good.
I have worked to cultivate my ability to seek positive in nearly every situation. To find something to be thankful for. And since it is Thanksgiving next week, it seemed appropriate to share my list of little blessings today.
1. I had about an hour notice that Aaron was leaving for 2.5 days. I was grateful to have canned ground beef and just enough tortillas to make a quick batch of flautas to pack in his lunch.
2. Two of the children simultaneously took hour+ naps today, which is a rarity these days, so I was able to have some uninterrupted time working on a writing project.
3. My great aunt and uncle stopped by for a quick visit, and it warmed my heart. My aunt also brought some delicious cookies and banana bread that we had for an afternoon snack.
4. The child who is sick willingly takes “medicine” (home remedies) and asks for it so I don’t have to expend energy to fight her about it.
5. I have nothing that won’t wait so I can spend hours every day holding children who just need a little extra snuggles.
6. I have pre-made espresso shots in the fridge so I can quickly make myself an iced Maple breve to help caffeinate my day.
7. We finally found a gym that will suit for the next pickleball tournament that we are hosting.
8. I can quickly fill the dishwasher and run a load so I don’t get dreadfully behind on dishes while mothering the sick and injured.
9. I live in such a modern time that I can simply pre-order the things on my grocery list, and they will be ready and waiting at the store when I go to pick them up. And someone will even load them into my vehicle for me! I might as well be a queen!
10. Most of all, I can feel Jesus’s presence very near me and sustaining me through this intense mothering season, and it feels good.
So there’s my list of 10 things I’m grateful for today. What’s on your list?
This evening, as I watched two of our children play in the bathtub, I was thinking again how different my life might have been had it followed the path I thought I was on. Now, a lot of times, this thought can make me feel sad, and like I’ve missed out on all the adventures that I might have had. It can also feel like I’ve completely lost myself, which is NOT an inspiring train of thought. But as I sat there watching the children splash, my thoughts went down a different path.
There are so many things I would have missed if my life had followed that alternate path.
I would have missed saying yes to being a mom.
I would have missed watching the baby tackling his big sister to the ground.
I would have missed the endless imaginary stories that I’m told every day.
I would have missed seeing the confidence that she could for sure do a complicated dance move from her uncle and aunt’s dance team performance.
I would have missed the frequent refrain of “Mom, read me a book” or “Mom, I need some snuggles.”
I would have missed the enthusiastic celebrations of things like staying in bed all night and getting poop in the potty for the first time.
I would have missed hearing the authority with which they declare, “When I say ‘no’, then ‘no’!”
I would have missed hearing her introduce herself to strangers and then say, “She is my sister, and he is my brother.”
I would have missed hearing them say, “I love you, Mama.”
I would have missed the absolute joy that they bring to my life.
I would have missed the challenges that this particular path brings.
I would have missed the moments I have to stifle my laughter when they pray that the curtains would sleep good tonight.
I would have missed all the times they ask “Can I help?”
I would have missed all the opinions and questions and astute observations of such amazing little humans.
I would have missed the chance to daily influence the next generation in such a personal way.
I have an amazing life, and I’m glad I said yes to this path. I’m thankful that I don’t have to miss these moments, even tho it means I’m not having the moments I’d have on the other path. I don’t regret my choice. I hope you don’t regret yours.
After my last post, I decided to go a little lighter this time. I’m not quite ready to tackle another deep dive topic just yet. Also, this blog has started reaching farther around the world than it used to, so I decided to do this as a bit of a way for you to get to know me. 🙂
1. I hold dual citizenship in both the US and Canada. I was born in northwestern Ontario to American parents and got my certificate of naturalization in the US when I was 1. If I would take the time and energy, I could pass my Canadian citizenship on to our children. I just haven’t pursued it that far yet.
2. I have been to four countries outside the US: Canada, Mexico, Belize, and the Dominican Republic. Obviously, as mentioned previously, I was born in Canada. We visited Sonora, Mexico, when I was 8 years old and celebrated Thanksgiving there in a little town called Santa Maria. After I was married, and while we lived near San Diego, California, we walked across the border into Tijuana, caught a taxi, and went fabric shopping. We went to the Dominican Republic for our honeymoon and to Belize for my brother’s wedding. I love traveling and would love to add many more countries to my passport stamps!
On our honeymoonTraveling “Belize style”. At one point, we added two more adults to this vehicle. 😀
3. I have a “50 Before 50” bucket list written out with items such as learning new languages and skills to being an actress in a professional production and recording music in a recording studio. The goal is to get all 50 items completed by the time I am 50 years old. I only have 19 more years to complete the remaining 26 items not already completed or in progress. Better get a groove on!
4. I am the oldest of 6 children, 4 boys and 2 girls. I was nearly 13 years old when my sister was born, and by that time, I was pretty much convinced that my mom did not know how to have a baby girl, that I was some kind of strange fluke. However, when my baby sister was born, she was the highlight of my life. And she’s finally old enough to really have become a friend to me!
My siblings and I at my brother’s wedding
5. I worked mostly night shift for most of 8 years and loved it! I worked as both a nurse’s aide and an EMT. There’s just something I love about being awake at night, quietly stalking around, while the rest of the people sleep. I also slept much better during the day than I did at night, so it was a win-win!
Sunset at the docks where they were building cruise ships
6. I have rarely been homesick. In all the travels I’ve done, I have rarely missed home. One of the last times I was truly homesick, I was about 10 or so and at a friend’s sleep-over. I decided I was done and would rather be home, so my mom came and picked me up, no questions asked. I’ve always appreciated that. Since then, I’ve pretty much just involved myself 100% in wherever I happen to be at the moment, and homesickness isn’t a thing for me.
7. I love canning and preserving! Last year, I canned around 100 jars of food, and I’m on track to do more than that this year. My basement shelves are full of things like zucchini relish, pumpkin, peaches, apple butter, grape juice, tomato juice, ketchup, pizza sauce, various soups, and other ready-to-eat meals, as well as chicken, chicken broth, caramel sauce, and cream cheese. It makes me happy to know that I could feed my family from just those jars if I would need to.
Some of the jars on our basement shelves
8. I love being a mom, and so far, I’ve loved every stage of parenting more than the last. As much as I love the tiny squishiness of a newborn, I enjoy the fledgling independence and the funny conversations of a toddler and preschooler even more. I look forward to seeing the children grow and mature and step more and more into being their own people.
9. I process my thoughts best through writing. If you want to really know what I think about something, ask me to write it out. Through lots of practice, I’ve gotten better at articulating my thoughts in a group setting, but it still takes a lot of thought and energy for me. It helps if I have a warning ahead of time and can think through my answer rather than be put on the spot. (Unless it’s something I’m well versed in already.) On the contrary, I do not need much time to put together a speech and then deliver it. I just need enough time to organize my thoughts on paper, and I’m ready to go.
10. I love public speaking! Any chance I get to do some public speaking, I love! Public speaking was one of my favorite classes that I took in college, and I would love to do more of it. I am comfortable behind a mic, and I love watching people’s reactions as I speak.
Speaking to a homeschool co-op a few years ago
So there’s 10 things about me. Are there any that surprise you? Tell me something about yourself in the comments!
Since January, we’ve traveled more than 8400 miles, with three children, ages three and under. These miles were traveled by air and by road. The longest we have driven with all the children is 21 straight hours. And, yes, I am fully aware that our children are champion travelers! I never cease to be amazed at their ease of traveling.
So, I thought this week, I would share some traveling tips that have worked for us and our children. Let’s jump in, shall we?
*Snacks. One of the most important items for any trip, but especially road trips, is snacks. Take things they will actually eat. Things I’ve found that our children will eat are popcorn, apple slices, rolled up bologna slices (with and without cream cheese), bananas, and pre peeled oranges. Often, our children won’t eat as much on the road as they do at home, so it usually takes less than you might think. If we have food in the vehicle, it’s much easier to just get them a small treat and then tell them to eat what we have in the car if they’re still hungry. It also eliminates the need to stop so long.
*Hydration. I also make sure that each child has a sippy cup and/or a water bottle along. Sometimes, I just take a sippy cup, and sometimes, I take both a sippy cup and a water bottle. Sippy cups are super handy to hold juice or soda or any other special drink we might get and not have to worry about it spilling all over their carseats. And having their own insulated water bottle helps them to stay hydrated.
*Activities. How do we keep the children entertained? By having a variety of activities available, but not so many options that they get overwhelmed. Each of our toddlers has a small backpack that I put a variety of their favorite small toys in. Notebooks and writing utensils, their favorite teddy bear or baby doll, some small books, magnatiles, or other small toys. I also keep some more special options in the diaper bag for those moments when a little extra entertainment is needed. Those special activities might include glow sticks for traveling at night and the magical Crayola color wonder papers and markers. Color wonder markers only mark on the special color wonder papers so they can have all the fun of using markers without any of the mess! It’s a win-win in my book!
*Headphones. One thing we invested in this year specifically for the airplane but have ended up using on the road too is a good set of kid-friendly bluetooth headphones for each child. The headphones have a volume limiter so that even if they get turned up all the way, the sound will not harm their ears. Having these headphones means I can pair them to my phone and play all their favorite music without having to listen to hours of VeggieTales myself. They love their headphones and are always so excited to get to use them.
*Screentime. Leave screen time as a last resort or for when it’s dark. This is one rule we have. We do not want our children to become dependent on the screens to entertain them on the road. That means that we often don’t give them that option until it’s dark and nothing else is working to keep them entertained and happy. However, on flights, they got more screentime than they do on road trips. (We use YouTube Kids with access to only videos that have been pre-approved by us.)
*Carseats. One thing that we teach our children from the tiniest infant is that they don’t get out of their carseats unless we are stopped. We also speak positively about their carseats. Going in their carseats means adventures and going places and having fun. We also emphasize that being in your carseat means all the buckles are shut tightly. It has gotten to the point that our oldest doesn’t want us to even drive in our driveway unless she is completely buckled into her carseat.
*Comfort items. I make sure to bring along their favorite blankets almost every time we go anywhere, even just on a grocery run around town. There’s just something extra cozy about bringing a favorite comfort item anywhere we go. For road trips, comfy lightweight clothes and easy on-off shoes are also a must! If they’re comfortable, they travel so much better!
*Potty breaks. One thing that I did when we were potty training our oldest was take along a potty chair for emergent potty stops. We kept the chair accessible so that if she needed to go, we could quickly pull it out, set it on the seat or floor (wherever we had room), line it with a diaper, and she could go. Lining it with a diaper meant easy clean up, and having access to a familiar potty meant she could relax and keep on track.
*Exercise. Run and jump at fuel stops. Whenever we stop for fuel, we get the children out and get them to run around and jump or have dance parties. Anything to get their bodies moving and get some energy out.
Most of all, just do it. Have fun with it. Show them that fun things happen when you travel. It does take more effort/energy/brain power to travel with small children, but it’s also so worth it! Getting to show them new things and experience the world through their eyes is so much fun!
How amazing is it to have strong-willed, outspoken, curious children whose toys get scattered throughout the house as they exercise their imaginations.
Writing on walls is a chance to learn how to clean and learn appropriate writing areas.
Toys scattered throughout the house is a chance to learn how to pick them up and return them to their place.
Hearing an argument of “When I say no, then no” and “When I say yes, then yes” is a chance to talk about consent and the need to respect others.
Wrestling and chasing each other is a chance to learn to listen to each other and recognize when the other isn’t having fun anymore.
Sassy talk without disrespect could just be a child repeating what they hear from their parents.
An apparent demand might actually be a chance to teach how to respectfully make a request from authority or to teach negotiation skills.
That pile of groceries in the garage behind the minivan is evidence of their attempts to help bring in groceries and a chance to explain why we don’t put the milk jug on top of bananas.
Times when they need a little extra training is a chance to frame it as working as partners to train them how to be awesome adults.
Giving them chores and boosting their working confidence might mean letting their efforts be less than perfect and praising them for what they accomplished.
Building them up means affirming them and speaking highly of them to others in their hearing.
Big emotions are a chance to help them name their emotions and learn what is and is not an acceptable reaction to those emotions.
An older child antagonizing them and not listening to their no is a chance to teach them that you have their back and will reinforce their no in uncomfortable situations.
Listening to their stories and play is a chance to delight in their imaginations and creativity.
Changing clothes 3 times a day is a chance to let them express their personal style and teach them when to rewear clothes so you’re not doing five extra loads of laundry.
Answering dozens of questions a day is a chance to expand their mind and explain the world to them.
Traveling with them is a chance for their horizons to expand and for you to delight in seeing the world through their eyes.
Honestly, I love parenting toddlers. They are literally some of the most delightful humans on earth. I love watching their personalities and independence blossom. They are amazing!
Adventurer with God 