Isa 40:11b “and [He] shall gently lead those that are with young.”
God, I’m so tired! I don’t know why!
I
What is wrong with my brain? Why can’t I find the joy I know you have?
Shall
I feel like I’m spiraling! I feel like a terrible mom!
Gently
I have so many tears!
Lead
Please make the children sleep! I can’t do another night with so little sleep!
Those
I’m begging You for help! I literally am unable to do this right now!
That
You promised to lead those with young gently. I’m not feeling the gentleness right now! I need more gentleness!
Are
You’re here. I sense Your presence beside me. I want You. I crave You.
With
Please give me Your peace. Please comfort my soul.
Young.
Please just hold me while I cry. Please make it all better and help me to remember that You do care.Thank you.
Gently: to lead, give rest, lead with care, guide to a watering place or station, cause to rest, bring to a station or place of rest, guide, refresh (Strong’s Concordance)
Rest sometimes looks different as a mama in the thick of raising little ones. And yet in the darkest of nights, when I’m up again for the tenth time and I’m exhausted and begging God to please somehow make it better, I feel Him come beside me, lift my weary arms, and strengthen me to keep going and give comfort to the children who call me mom, the children who call for me in the middle of the night like I call for God. And I am so thankful for His promise to give us rest and refreshment in the middle of the intensity.
Today I decided to go with a “just for fun” post. I scoured the interwebs and picked twenty random “get to know me” questions to answer. I decided that this will be my random post for the week. I have more posts that are brewing, but they are potentially more controversial, so I’m deciding when I actually feel brave enough to put them out. (Posts dealing with such things like Christian “indoctrination”, honor and submission and such like things.)
What song makes you feel better?20:17 (Raise the Banner) by Audio Adrenaline
What’s your feel-good movie?Zootopia, I’ve watched it a bunch of times and love it every time. What can I say? I love a good animated kid’s movie.
What’s your favorite candle scent?citrus or coffee if its not too strong. I likemore gentle scents, because if they’re too strong, I likely won’t use the candle at all and it will just go in the cupboard with all the other candles to be forgotten, until I open the cupboard and wonder why it smells so strong.
What flower would you like to be given?tulips or dahlias or roses or anything brightly colored
Who do you feel most “you” around?100% my husband, Aaron. He is the best person ever and the one personthat I am completely myself around.
Say three nice things about yourself, 3 physical and 3 non-physical.1) I have nice hair. 2) I am fairly flexible. 3) I can walk a mile without being winded. 4) I am strong-willed. 5) I like to research things. 6) I love teaching our children.
What color brings you peace?my favorite color is a royal blue or any royal or neon color. I love bright rich colors and they make me happy.
What calms you down?Hugging my husband. Journaling. Playing the keyboard.
What’s something you’re excited about? Having our fourth child join us earthside this summer.
What is the craziest thing you have ever done? I don’t know. Crazy by who’s standards? Cuz I have done several things that others have considered crazy. Drove 5 hours one way by myself without cell service at the age of 17 to attend a friend’s high school graduation. Took a Greyhound bus by myself for 60 hours from the west coast to northwestern Ontario Canada with no way to contact anyone.Left my job that I had just been promoted at to move across the country to teach school at a place where I knew almost no one.But then I’ve also gone snowboarding and skydiving which some others think are crazy enough. So it depends on who you ask. What’s your definition of crazy?
What is your dream car?an old-style Ford Bronco or a Suburban or an old muscle car such as a Mustang or Charger. I love old cars.
If you could be on any reality TV show, what would it be? Probably “Best Leftovers Ever”. I mean, it’s kind of my life already as a mom when I’m trying to clean out the fridge of random stuff. I just don’t make it as nice as they do on the show. (Does a cooking show count as reality TV? I have no idea, but I’m counting it.)
Favorite feel-good show?I rarely watch any shows, but if I do, it’s likely a cooking competition of some kind, so I guess that’s my feel-good show, Is It Cake?, Masterchef Jr, Iron Chef, and Chopped are all some recent ones that I’ve watched
What do you say during awkward silences?I rarely find silence awkward, and as the mom of three littles, I rarely get to experience silence. I am most likely to continue sitting in silence if I do happen to find some.
Do you still love stuffed animals?I’ve never been a really big fan of stuffed animals, and now that I’m a mom, I like them even less. They seem to have some kind of life of their own and there always seems to be more of them around than I remembered last.
Most important thing in your life?Definitely being the best mom I can be to our children and educating them and helping them grow into the best adults they can be. That, and being the best wife I can to my most amazing husband.
What do you want most in the world right now?For our children to grow up and change the world for the better
In how many languages can you say “hello”?English, French, Spanish, German, Italian, Japanese, Cree, and Mayan, so 8 languages I guess. That’s all I could think of off the top of my head. There might be a few more roaming around in my brain that I’ve forgotten at the moment.
What is the oldest item you have in your closet?A black skirt that I got when I first switched to wearing skirts from dresses, so I’ve had it probably about 10 or 12 years now, and somehow it keeps fitting me and keeps looking nice. I have no idea the brand or anything, but it was one piece that I bought brand new, which is rare for me.
What quote inspires you? I have a whole bunch of quotes that I have collected since childhood. Here are a few of my favorites. “Others can not make full use of my talents, I have to use them and not let them go to waste.” -Unknown “Stop feeling sorry for your kids and grandkids. Why would we raise generations of dragon slayers and be disappointed to have dragons for them to fight? Cheer up, it’s more dangerous than you thought.” -Douglas Wilson And finally, my favorite. “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, ‘Wow! What a ride!” -Hunter S Thompson (disclaimer with regard to the last quote. I do not take this one as meaning you should not care for yourself, but rather that whatever you do, do it with all your might.)
After reading this, are there any other questions you wish I would have answered? What would your answers be to these questions? Let me know in the comments below!
Today, I was putting away laundry. Aaron was practicing reading with our 4 year old, and our 1 year old was taking a nap. Our 2, almost 3 year old, was hanging out with me in our room. She was getting a little bored and happened to notice that there was dust on the top of our headboard, so I told her that if she wanted to, she could clean it with a rag.
She immediately ran out to the kitchen, grabbed a rag, got it wet, and came back. She proceeded to thoroughly clean all the dust and cobwebs off of our headboard. Then she noticed that the fan in our room was dirty too. I took the front cover off and handed it to her. She scrubbed it clean. Then she scrubbed the blades.
After she had those two pieces clean, she saw that there was dirt on the back piece, but she couldn’t figure out how to get the dirt behind the blades. She asked me for help. I ended up taking the fan completely apart, and it is now scrubbed clean and white again! I was actually quite impressed at her cleaning abilities.
Later, I asked the girls to clean up the living room. They quickly worked together, and soon, both the living room and their bedroom/toy room were all cleaned up with very minimal supervision for me. Things were even put away correctly.
I had a sudden realization that I already have quite capable household assistants, and they haven’t even reached 5 years old! They can clean up the floor and vacuum. They can wash and dry loads of laundry. They can put away their clothes and hang up their jackets. They help bring in groceries and watch their little brother while playing outside. They can even warm up leftovers for their lunches! And I find myself wondering how and when they became so capable!
Our 2 year old will frequently ask me what she can clean and will go around scrubbing her little brother’s marks off the walls. Our 4 year old will notice when there are items that need to be taken to the recycle bin and will take them out without prompting. Even our 1 year old loves to help by pushing kitchen chairs back to their places and putting sippy cups and bibs away in the proper drawer.
They all love to be helpful and be included in whatever I’m doing. And I love that they have finally reached the age where they can do things on their own without constant strict supervision from me.
Toddlers and preschoolers may just be my favorite ages yet. 😍 I love the way they help, the way they play together, and the hilarious and the deep conversations we have.
I think sometimes there is a tendency to underestimate young children, but from my experience, they are smarter, more empathetic, and more helpful than we often think is possible. I find that when I take a minute to stop and make sure they know how to do something, they are often quite pleased to show me what they are capable of.
I so look forward to seeing them continue to grow and mature and take more initiative. We have three amazing little humans in our household, and I just wanted to share that with everyone. 😉
These are the moments that I want to remember. The memories I want to cherish on the days when things are not going as well as I wish they would. I want to remember that these children are the future, and they are good, helpful, and loving already. ❤️
It’s Wednesday afternoon. That means it’s time to load up our three children and the little boy I babysit into their carseats and head off to church for an hour.
Every Wednesday afternoon from 2 to 3, you will find me and four children in the prayer room at our church. Why? Because we are taking what is called a “prayer watch.” We spend one hour playing worship music and spending time in the presence of God.
Sometimes we dance or spin in circles with the ribbon flags. Sometimes, the children “play” the keyboard and sing along with the songs. Sometimes, the girls draw pictures while I supervise the two one year old boys’ explorations of all the sound equipment. Every once in a while, I get to do about 2 minutes of sitting in quiet conversation with God. Most of the time, tho, I am worshipping Him as I chase down one toddler and settle a dispute over the crayons with another one.
Why do I do this? Why do I prioritize taking four children ages 4, 2, 1, and 1 to church to worship for one hour? Because it is important to me to cultivate a heart of worship in each of our children. I want them to have conversations with God as easily as they have them with me. I want to build their faith that their prayers make a difference. I want to set an example of prioritizing time in God’s presence, no matter what else is going on in our lives. I want them to see that no matter how seemingly inconvenient it might be to do this every Wednesday afternoon, it is still important enough to me that we do it. I want prayer and worship, singing and dancing, and listening to hear what God is saying to be a normal part of our children’s lives.
The other week, we found our 4 year old’s little purse that she has been missing for months! Her immediate response was to say, “Thank you. God! I love you!” and then she drew a picture for Him to show her gratitude.
Once the song “Make Room” by Casting Crowns was playing. One of the lines in the song says, “Is there room in your heart for God to write His story?” Our daughter turned to me and said, “Mom, I can see God writing His story.” She went on to list ways she sees God writing His story in her life.
I imagine that God smiles when He sees the children’s pure worship. It doesn’t bother His ears when the notes they play aren’t perfectly in tune with the song. He delights in the colors that they choose for their pictures. I can almost hear Him chuckle when He sees their portraits of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. He isn’t bothered that their worship sometimes looks like running in circles and giggling as they chase each other around the room. Their freedom in His presence is a delight. Their confident faith and sweet sensitivity to His voice is amazing.
Our children have so much delight in taking part in prayer watch that they ask if it’s time to go yet whenever they know it’s Wednesday.
It’s only one hour a week. Sometimes, it can seem like maybe I did nothing except try to calm the waves that are toddlerhood, and I wonder if God really cares about this one mother and the four tiny humans she brings. I sometimes feel guilty that my prayer watch is not as deeply reverent as some of the others that also hold prayer watches. I don’t get grand revelations or big breakthroughs, but still I go. And I do enjoy it.
No matter what chaos we bring into the room. No matter how frustrated I was trying to get everyone fed, changed, dressed, out the door, and loaded up to leave on time. No matter what. I walk into that room, crank the worship up, and I feel peace. I know that in His presence, there is rest. And it restores and energizes me. And by the time we leave, everyone is in a good mood and relaxed. That’s what the presence of God brings.
We’ve been having a rough couple of weeks with our one child breaking her leg and having to be non-weight-bearing and another child battling a virus that makes her cough violently at random intervals. The coughing leads to less sleep for me as she wakes up multiple times a night and sometimes wakes up the other child in the room from her coughing and crying. And then today, Aaron got a surprise out of town work trip on the truck, so he’s gone till Saturday. And still there is good.
I have worked to cultivate my ability to seek positive in nearly every situation. To find something to be thankful for. And since it is Thanksgiving next week, it seemed appropriate to share my list of little blessings today.
1. I had about an hour notice that Aaron was leaving for 2.5 days. I was grateful to have canned ground beef and just enough tortillas to make a quick batch of flautas to pack in his lunch.
2. Two of the children simultaneously took hour+ naps today, which is a rarity these days, so I was able to have some uninterrupted time working on a writing project.
3. My great aunt and uncle stopped by for a quick visit, and it warmed my heart. My aunt also brought some delicious cookies and banana bread that we had for an afternoon snack.
4. The child who is sick willingly takes “medicine” (home remedies) and asks for it so I don’t have to expend energy to fight her about it.
5. I have nothing that won’t wait so I can spend hours every day holding children who just need a little extra snuggles.
6. I have pre-made espresso shots in the fridge so I can quickly make myself an iced Maple breve to help caffeinate my day.
7. We finally found a gym that will suit for the next pickleball tournament that we are hosting.
8. I can quickly fill the dishwasher and run a load so I don’t get dreadfully behind on dishes while mothering the sick and injured.
9. I live in such a modern time that I can simply pre-order the things on my grocery list, and they will be ready and waiting at the store when I go to pick them up. And someone will even load them into my vehicle for me! I might as well be a queen!
10. Most of all, I can feel Jesus’s presence very near me and sustaining me through this intense mothering season, and it feels good.
So there’s my list of 10 things I’m grateful for today. What’s on your list?
It’s been 6 years. It’s been the best 6 years of my life. Being married to my best friend is the absolute best thing in the world. It might sound cliché, but it really is the truth for me. Aaron is my favorite person in the world, and I am so glad he is in my life. There is no one I would rather be with. I am head-over-heels in love with him.
Here’s a short glimpse into our love story… ❤️
First date, Valentines Day 2017, in Winchester, VAImpromptu photos in the snowProposal, April 2017Wedding Day, October 7, 2017Happily Ever AfterHoneymoon in Punta Cana, Dominican RepublicSnowboarding for the first time (me) on the actual coldest day of the year. It was 0F without windchill. 🥶Couples’ night in 2019 just before Ida joined usSeptember 2023, more in love than ever 😍 Our family now with three littles, 4 and under, and so much love, life, and energy
Marriage has been such a beautiful thing. Being each other’s favorite people is the best. You know it’s good when the four year old announces, “Mom, your babe is home!” every day when he comes home from work. 😄
I love our life together. God handpicked exactly who and what I needed in a spouse, and He even gave me the few specifics that I desired, like big hands, a bass singing voice, an uncommon Mennonite last name, and the ability to speak a second language.
To have someone who knows you so fully and loves you so completely is amazing. To have someone you can feel completely safe with is the best. To get to live life with your best friend every single day and laugh together and cry together and raise little ones together is so much fun!
We have the best adventures, and I can hardly wait to see what the next decades hold. I love you infinity! 😇
This evening, as I watched two of our children play in the bathtub, I was thinking again how different my life might have been had it followed the path I thought I was on. Now, a lot of times, this thought can make me feel sad, and like I’ve missed out on all the adventures that I might have had. It can also feel like I’ve completely lost myself, which is NOT an inspiring train of thought. But as I sat there watching the children splash, my thoughts went down a different path.
There are so many things I would have missed if my life had followed that alternate path.
I would have missed saying yes to being a mom.
I would have missed watching the baby tackling his big sister to the ground.
I would have missed the endless imaginary stories that I’m told every day.
I would have missed seeing the confidence that she could for sure do a complicated dance move from her uncle and aunt’s dance team performance.
I would have missed the frequent refrain of “Mom, read me a book” or “Mom, I need some snuggles.”
I would have missed the enthusiastic celebrations of things like staying in bed all night and getting poop in the potty for the first time.
I would have missed hearing the authority with which they declare, “When I say ‘no’, then ‘no’!”
I would have missed hearing her introduce herself to strangers and then say, “She is my sister, and he is my brother.”
I would have missed hearing them say, “I love you, Mama.”
I would have missed the absolute joy that they bring to my life.
I would have missed the challenges that this particular path brings.
I would have missed the moments I have to stifle my laughter when they pray that the curtains would sleep good tonight.
I would have missed all the times they ask “Can I help?”
I would have missed all the opinions and questions and astute observations of such amazing little humans.
I would have missed the chance to daily influence the next generation in such a personal way.
I have an amazing life, and I’m glad I said yes to this path. I’m thankful that I don’t have to miss these moments, even tho it means I’m not having the moments I’d have on the other path. I don’t regret my choice. I hope you don’t regret yours.
After my last post, I decided to go a little lighter this time. I’m not quite ready to tackle another deep dive topic just yet. Also, this blog has started reaching farther around the world than it used to, so I decided to do this as a bit of a way for you to get to know me. 🙂
1. I hold dual citizenship in both the US and Canada. I was born in northwestern Ontario to American parents and got my certificate of naturalization in the US when I was 1. If I would take the time and energy, I could pass my Canadian citizenship on to our children. I just haven’t pursued it that far yet.
2. I have been to four countries outside the US: Canada, Mexico, Belize, and the Dominican Republic. Obviously, as mentioned previously, I was born in Canada. We visited Sonora, Mexico, when I was 8 years old and celebrated Thanksgiving there in a little town called Santa Maria. After I was married, and while we lived near San Diego, California, we walked across the border into Tijuana, caught a taxi, and went fabric shopping. We went to the Dominican Republic for our honeymoon and to Belize for my brother’s wedding. I love traveling and would love to add many more countries to my passport stamps!
On our honeymoonTraveling “Belize style”. At one point, we added two more adults to this vehicle. 😀
3. I have a “50 Before 50” bucket list written out with items such as learning new languages and skills to being an actress in a professional production and recording music in a recording studio. The goal is to get all 50 items completed by the time I am 50 years old. I only have 19 more years to complete the remaining 26 items not already completed or in progress. Better get a groove on!
4. I am the oldest of 6 children, 4 boys and 2 girls. I was nearly 13 years old when my sister was born, and by that time, I was pretty much convinced that my mom did not know how to have a baby girl, that I was some kind of strange fluke. However, when my baby sister was born, she was the highlight of my life. And she’s finally old enough to really have become a friend to me!
My siblings and I at my brother’s wedding
5. I worked mostly night shift for most of 8 years and loved it! I worked as both a nurse’s aide and an EMT. There’s just something I love about being awake at night, quietly stalking around, while the rest of the people sleep. I also slept much better during the day than I did at night, so it was a win-win!
Sunset at the docks where they were building cruise ships
6. I have rarely been homesick. In all the travels I’ve done, I have rarely missed home. One of the last times I was truly homesick, I was about 10 or so and at a friend’s sleep-over. I decided I was done and would rather be home, so my mom came and picked me up, no questions asked. I’ve always appreciated that. Since then, I’ve pretty much just involved myself 100% in wherever I happen to be at the moment, and homesickness isn’t a thing for me.
7. I love canning and preserving! Last year, I canned around 100 jars of food, and I’m on track to do more than that this year. My basement shelves are full of things like zucchini relish, pumpkin, peaches, apple butter, grape juice, tomato juice, ketchup, pizza sauce, various soups, and other ready-to-eat meals, as well as chicken, chicken broth, caramel sauce, and cream cheese. It makes me happy to know that I could feed my family from just those jars if I would need to.
Some of the jars on our basement shelves
8. I love being a mom, and so far, I’ve loved every stage of parenting more than the last. As much as I love the tiny squishiness of a newborn, I enjoy the fledgling independence and the funny conversations of a toddler and preschooler even more. I look forward to seeing the children grow and mature and step more and more into being their own people.
9. I process my thoughts best through writing. If you want to really know what I think about something, ask me to write it out. Through lots of practice, I’ve gotten better at articulating my thoughts in a group setting, but it still takes a lot of thought and energy for me. It helps if I have a warning ahead of time and can think through my answer rather than be put on the spot. (Unless it’s something I’m well versed in already.) On the contrary, I do not need much time to put together a speech and then deliver it. I just need enough time to organize my thoughts on paper, and I’m ready to go.
10. I love public speaking! Any chance I get to do some public speaking, I love! Public speaking was one of my favorite classes that I took in college, and I would love to do more of it. I am comfortable behind a mic, and I love watching people’s reactions as I speak.
Speaking to a homeschool co-op a few years ago
So there’s 10 things about me. Are there any that surprise you? Tell me something about yourself in the comments!
“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” Hebrews 13:2 ESV
One of my earliest memories from church includes listening to a preacher share this verse. From that moment on, I always wondered if the guests we had were angels, and I always secretly hoped that they were. (Spoiler alert: I never found out if any of them were yet. 😄)
But what does it actually mean to “show hospitality to strangers”? Well, according to Merriam Webster, the definition of hospitable is: “1. A. given to generous and cordial reception of guests B. promising or suggesting generous and friendly welcome to guests. C. offering a pleasant or sustaining environment. 2. readily receptive, open.” That sounds nice. But what does that actually look like in real life?
Growing up, I had a wonderful example of hospitality in my mom. We hosted many people as a family. Single people who needed some family time. A young man who spoke about as much English as we spoke Spanish. A former inmate who had met my dad when he did Bible studies at the prison. An entire family reunion was even held on our property one summer! The mindset was that we always had room for one more. We always had food for another person. It might mean some creative maneuvering in order to find space for everyone, but it would be done, and it would be done cheerfully. Keep in mind that I grew up in a 1000 ft² double wide trailer on less than an acre of land.
The mindset that guests are welcome and not a bother is the type of mindset that I want to teach our children. I want our house to be an open space for hosting, for their friends to feel welcome. I want our environment to be inviting, even if the house isn’t perfectly in order and I don’t have a huge meal planned. I want it to be fun, not stressful.
One way that I have trained my mind to have fun, rather than stress, is choosing to be OK with some evidence of our house being lived in when guests are over. We currently have a baby, a toddler, and a preschooler in our house. It looks lived in. There will likely be some toys on the floor, dirty dishes in the sink, and maybe even some crumbs on the floor. *gasp! How awful!* Our daughters’ hair might not even always be combed! But it’s ok. Guests will still be greeted with a smile and without an apology for my house not being as clean as a museum.
We are currently leaders of a life group at our church. This means that every two weeks, we host a group of around 10 people at our house for an evening. It’s a lot of fun! This past weekend, we had a game night at our house with our life group. I was gone all day long and got home about a half hour before people started arriving, and it was ok. It was wonderful! We all had a grand time!
Of course, one thing that really helps is how extroverted my husband is and how much he loves to grill. He is a wonderful host who loves to invite people over and feed them. He is excellent at keeping conversations going and inviting people to join in activities. Our children are also learning from him, and our oldest daughter loves opening the door and greeting people when they arrive. She also loves to invite people over and even invited an elderly lady at the grocery store to come to our house! (We’re working on knowing what’s actually reasonable.)
The more that we’ve opened our house and the less I’ve let myself stress about hosting people, the more fun I have with it! I love having our house full of people having a good time! Who knows? Maybe someday, one of the people we host actually will be an angel. Until then, we shall keep our doors open and the coffee hot for every guest that comes our way.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4 ESV
“Count it all joy.” What does that actually mean? How does that look in everyday life? “Count it ALL joy?” All, like everything? Isn’t that a little excessive? What about the things that definitely don’t FEEL joyful in the moment?
For pretty much my entire life, I’ve been known as a happy/cheerful/joyful/optimistic person. When I was a toddler, my grandma gave me the nickname “Sunshine.” Whenever I got birthday cards, compliments, life-giving words, the majority of the time, they included something about my happiness. It was such a thing I was known for that I actually started to resent when people had to say something that they appreciated about me because 9 out of 10 times it would be about my “joyful attitude” or some other similar thing. It ended up feeling like they just said the easiest, most noticeable thing about me rather than get to know me.
And then came the tumultuous years where inside I was screaming, hoping someone would notice my misery, and offer me a way out besides suicide. On the outside, my happy persona continued. Someone even told me, “You should be more serious sometimes. You’re too happy.” Their words pierced my heart as I knew all too well the seriousness that was on the inside. They couldn’t see, maybe wouldn’t see. I don’t know.
Then I learned about counting it all joy. And now my joy is a choice. I choose joy on a daily basis. Why? Because this scripture says that counting it all joy is the first step to perfection, and I want to be perfect!
Choosing joy is easy when the children are perfect angels and my house is clean, and I got a full six hours of uninterrupted sleep. It’s almost not even really a choice then.
It becomes a choice when I see every single hour during the night and plans have changed again, and Aaron’s not getting home til way late or is gone an extra day for work and everything is not so pretty and flowing as I wish it was. Then I have to pause, take a breath, and choose to count it joy.
The baby is awake again for the eighth time tonight? Count it joy. I am not a victim of motherhood. I chose motherhood, and waking in the night to take care of littles is part of it.
Work schedule changed again with little to no notice? Count it joy. Aaron has a good steady job where he makes a difference every single day.
This principle can even apply in looking back on things that happened in your past.
I was sexually assaulted. Counting it all joy does not mean that I now somehow believe that it was a good thing. It does mean that I no longer am a victim to it. Counting it joy brings healing and empowers me to move forward. It gets me unstuck in my progress towards perfection.
If you find yourself stuck in a rut, feeling like a victim in whatever may have happened or may be happening in your life, try joy! See what happens.
Adventurer with God 