Sometimes, when I really want to write but am having a hard time figuring out what to write, I will scan over the ideas and drafts that I’ve written down for myself. Some of them have been sitting for 6 years. Waiting to either be fleshed out into a proper post or eventually thrown away because it doesn’t apply anymore.
As I review my drafts and list of prompts, I ask myself if I’m ready to tackle something that is controversial. I think I have this small fear that the day I tackle one of the really controversial topics on my list will be the day I accidentally go viral and find myself under fire from people who know nothing about me or this blog. I know, that’s a pretty ridiculous reason to not tackle a subject, but it is what goes through my mind.
If I tackle one of the subjects I’m super passionate about, I hear the line from my childhood ringing in my ears “Women should not teach men!” And since I can not guarantee that only women will read this blog, I debate if it’s proper for me to write about it or not. (And as I write this sentence I wonder if it’s right to include it. 😅) Childhood teachings are hard to shake off sometimes.
I also wish that I was inspired with the perfect post whenever the notification pops up on my phone, “Time to Write a Blog.” I am a perfectionist in the area of writing, and I wish to only write and publish the most perfect, amazing inspired pieces you ever did read every single time. However, I am learning to be ok with the less than perfect times, the ones that I feel are a total flop.
Earlier this year, I was challenged when I read Atomic Habits by James Clear. He pointed out that it takes practice to become the best, and the best way to practice is to make a habit out of doing it. So, I set myself a challenge to write a blog at least twice a month. I even set a reminder to myself, so I would remember. Maybe if I gain consistency, I will gain skill, and that will lead to bigger things in the future.
All the insecurities I’ve ever faced about my writing abilities are coming to face me head-on as I am getting ready to put the finishing touches on my first ever complete book! 🫨 I’ve been in the process of writing the manuscript for the last six years, and it’s finally ready for things like cover design and a unique ISBN. It takes courage to put small things like blog posts out into the world of strangers, and I’m finding it takes an even larger dose of courage to put out a full length book into the world at large. If it wasn’t for my husband’s insistent gentle encouragement and belief in my abilities, I likely would have just set the manuscript on a hidden shelf somewhere for my great-grandchildren to find. Maybe the next book won’t take so long, and maybe the next book won’t take so much courage. Who knows?
Now that I’ve written an entire blog post about not knowing what to write, maybe you have ideas for me. What are some things you’d like to hear from my perspective? Let me know in the comments!
P.S. The title of my book is Confessions of a Skirt-Wearing EMT: Memories of a Mennonite Girl in EMS. Coming soon to a bookshelf near you!
Adventurer with God 