Excerpts from my Pocket EMT Journal

Today at post, I was looking thru my little notebook that I write things that I experience as an EMT. I thought maybe y’all would enjoy a glimpse into my journal. Here goes nothing…

…Saw a blind man using a motorized wheelchair with a white-tipped cane.

…Riddle from a patient today, “Two coins add up to 55 cents and one is not a nickel.Answer: The other one is.

…Had a former meth runner. He used a ’79 Bronco on 38s with 750 horsepower! He could pull wheelies in it.

…”What are you?? Some sort of medical cowboy??” in reference to my skirt.

…Bad sick patient. Temp 105.1. Respirations 80. Heart rate 152. I had to breathe for him. I wonder what that must feel like.

…Had a couple of Isrealis insist that I was Isreali too. Called my headscarf an Isreali kippah.

…On the way back to base, I was stopped at a stop light and yawned. Immediately I looked to my left and caught the eye of an old guy who also yawned then we both laughed at each other.

…Got to meet the medic who stopped at the accident scene with me the other day. Super awesome to sit and talk to him and see the scene and my actions from someone else’s perspective. From his perspective I was perfectly calm and in control of the whole scene. He said I was calm. I knew what I was doing and took all appropriate actions. C-collar was placed properly and airway was being protected well.

…Looking at the schedule this morning and I was assigned one of the Ford vans that I can’t see out of. Me: I can’t drive that! I can’t see out! Co-worker: Sounds like a personal problem to me. 😂

…Co-worker: Hey where’d you get that sexy skirt?? Me: I made it. Him: No ****!

…Sat in dispatch today. It was super interesting and educational!

…Getting called to a person you know is slightly alarming. Especially when they’re not themselves.

…Had the best dispatcher!! I missed him! He says my last name with two syllables and only calls me that. “Bow-uss”

…Best panhandler sign ever! “Tsunami coming! Need $$$ for pirate ship!”

…Stopped by Taco Bell to grab a bite to eat and the gentleman in front of me stole my food! Right in front of my face! I was completely dumbfounded!

…I saw a man riding a unicycle while juggling three basketballs!

…Had a patient who is self-proclaimed as the smartest man in the world. “Smarter than Jesus. Off the charts”. Told me that I am privileged to be in his presence.

…Had to push a patient up a good sized hill. He was skeptical that I would be able to and when I did he said, “You’re pretty strong for such a tiny thing!”

…Dispatch: Control, 936. 936: 936 go ahead. Dispatch: 936 disregard. *dead air* Dispatch: Actually 936 disregard this entire conversation. 936: *laughing* It never happened.

…Seen in a hospital today: That that is that that is not is not that it it is.

…Patient: Yep I’ve lived here 42 years. Came over on the last wagon train. Fought Indians the whole way.

…Not sure if it’s a good or bad thing when you smell a strong urine smell coming from your maple nut scone and you decide to eat it anyways cuz it tastes ok.

…Little old lady told me I should market my skirt in “Gayville”. Not sure if she means she thinks its gay or what.

…That moment you get so lost in downtown that not even dispatch can help.

…I gave  runner an ice pack at the half marathon today and she exclaimed, “I LOVE you!” My partner said, “Well here’s where I either leave or take a picture and I’m not sure which.”

…It takes 287 steps to cross the skybridge from the VA hospital to OHSU.

…Patient quote: You’re so tiny! I bet you look adorable on a horse!

…I attempted to throw my training packet to my medic today and it ended up on the floor. He said, “What the world, brah?” His partner said, “You’ve angered the black skirt!” That’s their thing tonight. I’m referred to as the anonymous and ominous black skirt. I love these guys!

…I was warned that my patient was fiercely combative and verbally abusive. I walk up not knowing what to expect. I find an older male talking very loudly and cussing at the nurses. Long story short. I did my job and got him out. Managed to make the nurses smile and when I dropped off the patient, he called me sweetheart. #winning

…ED nurse gave me a Tigger sticker after we brought them the fourth crazy person.

…Co-worker says I must be a vampire. Because I’d rather work at night. I prefer cold and no sun. He even guessed my blood type! He’s so weird but I wouldn’t mind working with him even tho he’s a daywalker.

…Transported a flight team. Medic told me he made the rider take shots of vodka before the flight because he was worried that the guy would go into delirium tremens otherwise.

Hope you enjoyed this small glimpse into my journal.

-Til next time…


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